Capricorn: Four Tips For Dating After DivorceBy |
Divorce is devastating. Let us not side step the issue. Many people try to downplay the emotional impact of divorce.
I am not going to sugar coat it. If you got divorced, you went through a serious personal hassle.
You went through a serious personal ordeal. You might feel a lot of relief right now that you have gotten out of a particularly difficult relationship.
You might be looking forward to the freedom you have now that you are legally divorced from your ex-partner.
Make no mistake about it. Divorce is a serious ordeal.
Unless you are going to look at divorce this way, chances are you might be subconsciously carrying a lot of emotional baggage that might negatively impact your dating life after your divorce.
You have to acknowledge that divorce was a personal failure. It might not be a failure on your part. It might be completely the fault of your ex-partner.
Regardless, it is a negative development in your life and you have to acknowledge it as such.
Keep in mind that simply acknowledging something as negative does not necessarily mean that you are dwelling on the matter.
Acknowledgment and dwelling on certain issue and refusing to move on are two completely different things.
I am just telling you to acknowledge what happened, learn some important lessons and move on. I am not at all in any way, shape or form advocating that you should dwell on this particularly negative event in your life.
Still, you have to acknowledge what happened, appreciate the lesions you have learned, and move on.
This is crucial to moving on. Otherwise, there might be some sort of subconscious issues that you are simply glossing over that might have a negative impact on your dating life after your divorce.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, it is crucial to keep the following four tips in mind.
This can help you in making sure that your romantic life after your divorce is positive.
Expect to Have Fun Exploring
One of the worst things that you can do as a Capricorn is to fixate on the work element of finding dates.
As a typical earth sign, it is very easy for you to lean into the grindstone and handle all of the different aspects of your personal life in a very workman-like manner.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. This is why in many cases Capricorn people are very driven and successful in what they do.
However, if you simply look at everything you do in all aspects of your life as simply work, this can suck all the joy out of these activities.
Instead of simply living in the moment and truly enjoying yourself, by focusing on specific objectives, you end up making these aspects of your life more of a hassle.
Dating should be fun. Dating should be a form of exploration. Look at it that way.
Do not look at it as something that you need to do, so you can achieve some sort of objective.
Focus on the fun exploration of dating.
This should shape your expectations and this can lead to a more positive result.
Do Not Obsess About Finding a New Relationship
One of the worst things you can do is to look at the whole dating process as simply a means of finding a new relationship.
While we can all agree that this should be on your agenda, this should not consume all your energies. This should not be the end all and be all of your dating efforts.
If you focus solely on finding on a new relationship, you can enter a slippery slope of simply repeating negative patterns that led to your divorce.
You might simply be replacing an ex-partner with a new partner without any fundamental change as far as your emotional makeup is concerned.
In other words, you are simply remedying whatever negative emotional effects your divorce had on you by patching it with a new relationship.
This is completely unfair to the new partner. This also does not go far enough in resolving whatever issues may have been leftover by your ex-relationship.
To avoid all that unnecessary drama, simply do not obsess about finding a new relationship.
Focus on making the dating experience as fun as possible. Be open-minded, be experimental and understand that success is not a destination.
It is not some sort of product that you get after going through a process. Success is the process itself.
I know this is very hard for you as an earth sign to get because you tend to focus on objectives. You tend to focus on rewards.
However, if you want to make sure that your post-divorce experience as positive as you can make it, do not obsess about finding a new relationship.
Enjoy the Adventure
You have to look at your dating life as an adventure. This is the best way to look at it.
You are going to meet new people. You are going to find yourself new circumstances. You might find yourself experiencing different combinations of emotions.
There is a sense of mystery here.
I know it is very easy to focus on the risks. It is very easy to get caught up in what could go wrong.
However, if you let fear get the best of your experience, then the whole experience would fall flat. The whole experience would be more like an ordeal.
It would be very mechanical and it leads to you robbing yourself of a lot of potential joy.
Dating should be fun. It should be a great way of not just exploring other people and exploring other options that are out there.
It is also an opportunity for you to explore yourself.
At the very least, you should look at dating as a way of taking advantage of opportunities for self-discovery and self exploration.
If done right, this whole dating adventure can lead to you becoming a better and more mature person.
This has nothing to do with you finding a new relationship. This has nothing to do with you finding an ideal partner.
If the ideal partner will appear, that person will appear later on.
What matters more, at this point in time, is that you have a good time and that you develop and mature as a person.
You can only do that if you have the right mindset. One of the best ways to look at your particular situation is to view it as an adventure.
Understand that You are Worth Loving and Valuing
In sales, you can only sell a product if you truly believe in the product. You can only give what you have.
Unfortunately, a lot of lousy sales people are unable to close the sale because deep down inside, they do not really believe in the product. They do not really understand what they are working with.
Not surprisingly, they fumble around and they have a tough time convincing people. They have a tough time getting people to trust them or like the product and value proposition enough for the prospect to take the next step.
If you want to make sure that your dating efforts lead to great results, understand and appreciate the fact that you are worth loving and valuing.
You have value. I know this may seem like common sense, but unfortunately when it comes to matters of the heart and emotional issues, common sense is quite uncommon.
If you are looking for love, you must first love yourself. Nobody will value you if you do not value yourself.
This of course involves a tremendous amount of self-respect and self-regard. I know you have gone through a tough time with your divorce.
In many cases, your self-esteem is the first victim of your divorce. However, you need to move past that and focus on your love for yourself and your self-respect.
Once you get this basis covered, then you have a lot to offer. You would then be able to position yourself in such a way that you can achieve your dating goals.